We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My balls are so social today.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
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