Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
