Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
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Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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