Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i already hear my dad disowning me
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
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I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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