I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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