he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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