Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
