Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
