"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
it glows. i had to have it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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