apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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