best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Stuck it in his pooper.
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Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
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Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.