someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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i drank out of a bidet.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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