i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I love you. Go after that dick
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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