Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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