i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
