stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize