2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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