I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in