4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Quick, to the slutcave!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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