I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
