4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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