just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
