He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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