Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
