What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
