"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.