Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
