I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
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they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
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Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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