He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
