You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH