I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.