Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
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Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
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Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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