Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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