I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize