She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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