People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize