I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
