so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize