He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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