He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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