you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize