And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
