You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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