she was so not down for the gang bang
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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