I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
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Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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