Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
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I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
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Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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