i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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