Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.

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(917): K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs. http://tfl.nu/lbd0

Replies (11) Good night (718) Bad night (1589)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.

(612): View more from Minnesota

only room for one pussy in that bed.

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(262): When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy. (612): only room for one pussy in that bed. http://tfl.nu/8gho

Replies (9) Good night (966) Bad night (2494)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up

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(306): and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up http://tfl.nu/qck7

Replies (77) Good night (1038) Bad night (7962)
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(630): View more from Illinois

So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.

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(630): So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again. http://tfl.nu/rreu

Replies (54) Good night (1169) Bad night (5045)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night

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(609): id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night http://tfl.nu/kxc6

Replies (11) Good night (3707) Bad night (1055)
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(770): View more from Georgia

"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.

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(770): "Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea. http://tfl.nu/i0ux

Replies (10) Good night (3088) Bad night (1324)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's

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(774): the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's http://tfl.nu/a401

Replies (16) Good night (2393) Bad night (1073)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"

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(580): Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying" http://tfl.nu/0sq3

Replies (4) Good night (3984) Bad night (802)
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(303): View more from Colorado

No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.

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(303): No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to. http://tfl.nu/fzx1

Replies (4) Good night (1824) Bad night (1167)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

so you are graduating this semester.

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(484): my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete. (215): so you are graduating this semester. http://tfl.nu/j7mj

Replies (3) Good night (1461) Bad night (620)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.

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(603): pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/ar70

Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (1281)
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(801): View more from Utah

At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.

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(801): At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good. http://tfl.nu/03g0

Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (667)
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(815): View more from Illinois

WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!

(847): View more from Illinois

1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us

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(815): WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?! (847): 1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us http://tfl.nu/rdej

Replies (1) Good night (1051) Bad night (430)
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(740): View more from Ohio

See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want

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(740): See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want http://tfl.nu/eckw

Replies (7) Good night (925) Bad night (237)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?

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(248): I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right? http://tfl.nu/943w

Replies (0) Good night (373) Bad night (290)

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