and you said cock pushups were impossible
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.