look no pants
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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