Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.

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  (303): So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl. http://tfl.nu/7x7a
  Replies (4) Good night (1118) Bad night (586)
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  (949): View more from California

  i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit

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  (949): i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit http://tfl.nu/gr8g
  Replies (13) Good night (3166) Bad night (962)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.

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  (917): Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college. http://tfl.nu/0xig
  Replies (24) Good night (820) Bad night (3238)
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  (707): View more from California

  I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.

  (951): View more from California

  That's the thing about women.

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  (707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff. (951): That's the thing about women. http://tfl.nu/3r0z
  Replies (6) Good night (783) Bad night (2453)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well

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  (757): I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well http://tfl.nu/14t6
  Replies (7) Good night (4493) Bad night (1283)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me

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  (440): Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me http://tfl.nu/mmr9
  Replies (17) Good night (1157) Bad night (3176)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I think this baby is eyeing my beer

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  (480): I think this baby is eyeing my beer http://tfl.nu/6ms6
  Replies (13) Good night (5047) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  ugh yes i love our date nights

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  (814): i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey (1-814): ugh yes i love our date nights http://tfl.nu/d1p8
  Replies (4) Good night (3066) Bad night (721)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"

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  (778): we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go" http://tfl.nu/uvr2
  Replies (3) Good night (3282) Bad night (833)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure

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  (507): I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure http://tfl.nu/8ozd
  Replies (5) Good night (2479) Bad night (1005)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.

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  (802): lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships. http://tfl.nu/002a
  Replies (10) Good night (1997) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.

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  (210): Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT. http://tfl.nu/29iu
  Replies (17) Good night (4329) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us

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  (403): The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us http://tfl.nu/rgjh
  Replies (6) Good night (867) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"

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  (828): I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?" http://tfl.nu/m95j
  Replies (3) Good night (831) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.

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  (585): I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits. http://tfl.nu/c0pb
  Replies (8) Good night (468) Bad night (772)

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