Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.

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  (518): As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon. http://tfl.nu/t4x8
  Replies (14) Good night (5085) Bad night (1549)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.

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  (717): i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does. http://tfl.nu/p0z8
  Replies (14) Good night (1790) Bad night (3443)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.

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  (253): You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me. http://tfl.nu/6xwb
  Replies (17) Good night (3966) Bad night (797)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n

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  (303): Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n http://tfl.nu/8mzg
  Replies (10) Good night (904) Bad night (4724)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.

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  (815): She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water. http://tfl.nu/94yr
  Replies (8) Good night (5091) Bad night (1214)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal

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  (815): No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal http://tfl.nu/8ycn
  Replies (4) Good night (1318) Bad night (911)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.

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  (410): It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience. http://tfl.nu/n6q9
  Replies (6) Good night (800) Bad night (1536)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show

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  (480): You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show http://tfl.nu/lsuc
  Replies (5) Good night (2602) Bad night (634)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.

  (607): View more from New York

  I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero

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  (719): And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot. (607): I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero http://tfl.nu/sawz
  Replies (2) Good night (1735) Bad night (396)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.

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  (972): I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break. http://tfl.nu/fgur
  Replies (13) Good night (1985) Bad night (522)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi

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  (321): Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi http://tfl.nu/jeyc
  Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (987)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.

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  (937): she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality. http://tfl.nu/ox7x
  Replies (2) Good night (933) Bad night (261)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner

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  (516): I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner http://tfl.nu/acki
  Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (201)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.

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  (775): All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch. http://tfl.nu/tcmn
  Replies (5) Good night (917) Bad night (235)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?

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  (516): Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles? http://tfl.nu/3kx7
  Replies (2) Good night (149) Bad night (352)

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