You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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