I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.