i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful