Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.