You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?