yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!