u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he told me I talked like a deaf person
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF