My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.