is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
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so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
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The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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